Tears

Paco's grandmother passed away in her sleep the other day. Strangely, I haven't been able to really process it yet. My in-laws are planning a memorial service for the end of May - I think that's part of the problem...I need it to be sooner.

We told the kids and no one really said too much. However, two days later, I had this conversation with Pirate:

Pirate: I miss Butterball (Note - Butterball was my cat that lived at my parents house. He died about a year or two ago...sadly, I can't really remember when.)

Me: I know, honey. He was a nice cat.

Pirate: He's in heaven now.

Me: Yes.

Pirate: When will he come back?

Me: He won't come back, honey, once you're in heaven you stay there.

Pirate, eyes wide: Grandma Jane is in heaven!

Me: Yes honey, she is.

Pirate: But that means I won't ever say hello to her again. (Cries a bit and sits on my lap.)

This conversation is what I keep thinking about. I can't seem to cry, though, as sad as I am.