Life

Today is Grandma's memorial service. I still haven't really cried yet; I imagine today will be the day. Paco has to speak, so I know that will send me over the edge. We explained some of what is going to happen to the kids, and prepared them to see s crying. Princess said that she will cry, too, which is pretty characteristic as she is a pretty sensitive girl. TBell asked if we are going to eat...also pretty characteristic.

I am writing this post as I sit and drink a cup of coffee, waiting for the Paco to take a shower and the kids to wake up. It's been a long couple of weeks and I am anxious for this service to be over. Not only have I been stressed about today, but work has been particularly stressful the last couple of days in a way that is all-consuming. Maybe something stronger than coffee will do the trick.

A brighter note is that I am going to be fitted for a bridesmaid dress tomorrow for sister-in-law's wedding. The top will be champagne and the bottom will be black. I am planning on the getting the shorter skirt, but am still up in the air about the top. We are all (5 of us) allowed to pick whatever combination we want, so that's very nice. It's the beginning of a very expensive year since all five in this house are in the wedding.

That about sums up my life at the moment. I wrote some new articles that I will need to add links for. And, I am thinking of changing my layout...stay tuned!

PS - I just want to say how happy I am for Jillian and her recent good news. I have never met her, but she is a friend of a friend and therefore important to me. Congratulations, Jillian, on all of your recent good news!

UPDATE: Paco had to speak at the service today. He started crying before he even started talking, which caused Pirate to get upset. A minute later, I heard Princess wailing behind me (she was sitting with a friend of mine) and had to pawn Pirate off on my future sister-in-law so I could take Princess out of the sanctuary. She got upset when she heard Paco talk about how she was named after Grandma. Oh dear, at least the hardest part is over now. We are all getting changed and heading over for a more informal gathering that is sure to be fun.

Tears

Paco's grandmother passed away in her sleep the other day. Strangely, I haven't been able to really process it yet. My in-laws are planning a memorial service for the end of May - I think that's part of the problem...I need it to be sooner.

We told the kids and no one really said too much. However, two days later, I had this conversation with Pirate:

Pirate: I miss Butterball (Note - Butterball was my cat that lived at my parents house. He died about a year or two ago...sadly, I can't really remember when.)

Me: I know, honey. He was a nice cat.

Pirate: He's in heaven now.

Me: Yes.

Pirate: When will he come back?

Me: He won't come back, honey, once you're in heaven you stay there.

Pirate, eyes wide: Grandma Jane is in heaven!

Me: Yes honey, she is.

Pirate: But that means I won't ever say hello to her again. (Cries a bit and sits on my lap.)

This conversation is what I keep thinking about. I can't seem to cry, though, as sad as I am.

Vodka Drinks in the Afternoon

I am having a wonderful day off. It started out a bit shaky...Paco and I had an argument. But, we went to TBell's first soccer practice and saw some friends, which completely lightened our moods. Then, we came home and got some work done around the house. The girls have a friend over and I had some (two) vodka drinks. How much better can it get?

We are going to a birthday party for my sister's (sister 2) husband. I wonder if there will be vodka drinks there. Tomorrow TBell has a birthday party to attend and we all have a first communion party to attend. Expensive and busy Sunday!